Friday, April 16, 2010

over a year?

Well I can't believe it's been over a year since I blogged last! I think with the increased usage of Twitter and Facebook, I guess I didn't have anything that important over 140 characters to blog about.

Tonight, while I'm enjoying a quiet Friday night at home ... laundry is done, TV watching caught up on, dog sleeping at my feet, I'm feeling a little introspective.

These last few weeks have been very interesting to me. I feel like I'm at this huge crossroads with my life. I have made some decisions, and while they are still about 2 years in the future and who knows what could change in those 2 years, I do feel a little more settled about where I see myself in the proverbial 5 years. It's certainly a different scenario that I would have guessed.

More than anything, I think I've come to realize that the last several years for me have been more about me biding my time than accomplishing much of anything. Biding my time, and I'm not even really sure what I've been waiting for.

I've decided that my job is not one that I see myself retiring from. I have made peace about many aspects of it and have been able to be honest with my boss and my staff about how I feel. It feels good to know that even if I have to stick it out for 2 more years until all my debt is paid off, after that, the possibilities seem endless. And that is fairly freeing.

Now it's just a matter of seeing if what I have planned for my future and what God has in store with me align. And this, my friends, is not an easy area for me. I am a very decisive person; I usually can see quickly through all options and make a clear, concise decision. But in this case, just because I may have made some decisions, doesn't necessarily mean I have the power to bring them all to fruition on my own. Thus, the waiting on God.

I know this seems really mysterious and it's sadly not ... It's not like I'm contemplating moving to Africa to work with orphans or Alaska to hang with Sarah Palin ... but there was a time when I thought I would live my entire life in NY. And now, I'm not so sure that's what I want ...

I'm not sure if this blog is worthy of the "wait" for over a year, and who knows if I still have any readers left... but it does feel good to get some things down on paper. And if I were smart, I'd start taking my buddy Jeremy's advice and I'd find myself journaling

Hopefully I won't take another year to post my next entry on here.


cd said...

Glad to see you back! Keep us posted... I'll be praying for you. I know it's hard to wait!

Jeremy said...

I'm still reading, and I was excited that you posted again!

Crossroads are good. Two years seems like a long time until you look back and see how long it's taken to get you to where you are now. Then it's not so bad.

And you should definitely start journaling now! This is when things are going to start getting interesting...