Thursday, May 10, 2012

is your life 'exciting'???

well, i'm pretty pooped out tonight because i worked both jobs today ... over 12 hrs between the 2 ... so without any big introduction, here are my 3 things for tonight ... 

1) today is the first day in over 2 weeks that i left on time, with everything checked off my task list and my desk semi-straightened!  this bodes well for tomorrow...

2) do you have a bucket list??  i think i need to make one ... there are definitely some experiences that i would like to have before i die ... and now might be the time to start putting them down on paper and checking them off my list ... (see below)

3) when i was younger i was convinced i would lead an exciting life. i figured i would be 1 of 3 things ...a stay at home mom with 5 kids, an "urbanite" living in NYC and working in a big skyscraper, or an elementary/high school teacher. (my definition of exciting is clearly not that of... say ... a skydiver...) while i have become none of those things, i love that several of my best friends are indeed these people.  and i know for a fact that they do lead busy, productive,fulfilled, even exciting (at times) lives.  
so how come that excitement passed me by??  
- a few reasons i think
  • the biggest reason might be because i am not a very excitable person.  i'm very laid back and rarely do i get have any big emotional highs or lows.  so i'm not sure how living an exciting life would fit with my personality. 
  • another reason is that i 'settled' pretty early in life.  i got my associates degree and was offered a job.  i was tired of school and was flattered at the opportunity presented to me.  
  • and then it kind of spiraled downward for a little while.  i started viewing credit cards as free money, i bought a brand new car, moved out on my own and began racking up the debt.  
  • as soon as i started settling into this routine, i lost the ability to even think about an exiting life. 
  • my life became working for a pay check so i could make the minimum payment on my credit cards.
thankfully i saw the error of my ways and have been working very hard these last 4 years to get all my debt paid off so my life could be "free".  
the end is in sight.  i can almost taste it and trust me when i say, it's EXCITING.  i finally have possibilities ...
i wish so much i could go back and do things differently but i know that these were lessons i needed to learn the hard way.  
if i could go back now, i would have made myself finish my bachelor's degree,
i would have moved to mexico or guatemala and worked in an orphanage for a year or 2 and then i would have thought very long and hard about where i wanted to spend 40 hours of every week. 

is your life exciting?? if you could go back, what would you do differently??


Bff2 said...

Wow.... I've been thinking this over a lot lately. You put pretty succinctly a trait that we certainly have in common but that I may not be self actualized enough to admit to: that I'm neither exciting nor particularly excitable. On top of that, I work pretty exclusively with teenagers who... are. This compounds my feeling old with the sense that very little PLEASANT change is likely to befall me. The mentality that life is out there waiting for me, doors open... Well... I almost dont remember that

Bff2 said...

...but, I'm happy in a way. I don't regret my career or, believe it or not, my love life. But the good stable job I can't walk away from, the mortgage payments and house deed, and the proximity of family sometimes stir in me a claustrophobic compression. What would it be like to start over? To live my dream? I'm here because it's safe, but could there be more? I want to say how thankful I am for all of those I love. I'm not forgetting them or taking them for granted. I am, after all, very lucky. Placid waters have been earned, after all.

Rachael said...

Bek - i'm so glad you commented!! i definitely appreciate the honesty and insight you wrote! i think you should consider what your dream is if you were going to be able to live it ...